I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So many bounce houses so little time
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
