So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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