and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it because I queefed?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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