You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
