some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize