I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
