when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize