Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
