whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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