I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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