Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
