I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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