this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
