we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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