why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
