dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
