I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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