She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize