I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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