people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
