Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
