please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
