The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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