rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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