We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You took a bar mat shot.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize