how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
