you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
