that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
