better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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