no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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