i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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