If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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