That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
