Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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