I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
