remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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