I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
