wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
