week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
