Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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