Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
