Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
