K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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