So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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