i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I had to cum in my sink.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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