Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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