Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
