my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
