You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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