yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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