I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
