yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
