Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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