I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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