hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
