i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The air taste purple.
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