I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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