dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize