I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
