MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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